Puchandi

I am puchandi. I am not alive like you neither am i a ghost. I am not a ghost as i was never born like you guys to die of disease like cancer, stroke etc or killed by accident or suicide to be reborn as a ghost. So who am I? I am an enigma to all and especially the Children who is so worried of me but I am an enigma to myself. I do not know how I was born. May be a Mother who got desperate with a child trying to prevent him from doing the mischief of climbing the stair created me for the first time. May be different Mother's had different reason to create me for their children as they tried everything before i got created. But I now exist atleast for the small children and they do not know what all I can do. For some i can eat them for others i can steal them from my mother.

I was created for a good which prevented all this children from many accidents which might to have happened to them but i am created bad and hence i am bad to these children. As I do not know how I can be good to all this children, I continue to be bad. I really never wanted to exist but now I exist and I do not know why I exist. As child grows to an adult I die for him but is alive very much for a new set of children. I am alive even for the child of the adult who grew fearing of me.

If i could decide what i will do, I will never be cruel to these innocent children. Sadly, I have no role in that. I would have taught this children in a better way and would have acted like the god's in their scriptures. Sadly I was not created by the creator for a bad role and hence i do the bad work on children as per these sweet kids. As my creators, the mother community creates and propagates me while they are busy in their other work. I am created by their vocal words and hence i never exist on paper. I never have any right like anyone of you as I do not have any identity on paper. I hence do not get any privileges of constitution or even the scripture. I am old and may be as old as oldest human mother who could speak to communicate but I am not recognized. Anyhow history has no role to document evil beings and will not provide any rights for them.

I am feared but have different image in different kids mind. I am used frequently while one kid talk to other kids and each imagines me differently. I am like a cat for all but i have a bloody eye for some, long nails for others but no one doubts of my existence. Kids sometime get so worried of me and fell ill with fever thinking of me, so believe some me more than other. But no one doubts my existence.

Am i happy of my existence? Yes because i have survived so long, longer than many of those small kids who worry of me. But I am sad as I am evil not because i meant evil but those kids thought I am evil. I am sad that i cannot communicate to the kids in their language and inform them that I never meant evil. I am sad as i am powerless even though i have lived long. I have no power over any of this kids destiny during their period of belief but I am happy that may be I avoided many harm which could have come this kids way in case they did not believe me. I am happy that they don't curse me when they grow to adult and even start appreciating my role and commending me by recreating it again for their kids.

Masters voice

I have seen him pass besides me many times. He was slightly fat but I always admired his fatness. He's beautiful and I loved seeing it walk elegantly every morning along the park. it's indeed entertaining to watch  his brown tail wag in the morning breeze. He has black penetrating eyes and his sweet bark wakes me up in the morning every day. His ears are drooping and moves gracefully with the wind. His hair below the belly is white and is clean of any dust.

I know his house and I have admired how clean his kennel is kept. He eats the best food and i hope it's tasty but I never get to eat it. one day I also want to be fed and taken care properly like him.

He has a clear schedule to follow  from morning to evening. He wakes up at 630 and walk with the master.  He then gets a bath done by a servant.  He is given food which comes in large yellow packet with a cute looking member of our family printed on the cover. He's then put back in kennel till evening when he takes another walk but now with the masters wife.  In between he is given meals of chicken or sometimes mutton twice a day but he has to take it within the confinement of kennel. He gets a pat or two from each member of the family. I have seen the master checking always if he had food before master himself takes his food.

And see me I have no routine I'm not sure if I will get my food but I am happy that the benevolent people around us still feed me. They are all leftover food and I never get any meat as food. Hence I am skinny. I am always in the company of 2-3 of my other skinny friends who share the food.  I am with my friends all day playing with whatever we see around. I need not walk with master nor do I need to follow the ritual baths of the mornings. We are also benevolent to all people in our territory and we keep all of them away from nuisance. We do this from heart and not because we were asked to do.

The worst thing l hate of  my fat friend is the chain that binds him to the master or to the pole. He is forced to be disciplined and not to  think of anything. He cannot even bark and protest for it hurts the master. He has to wag his tail always and make hissing sound while master or his family and friends are around but never can bark and can never enter any place he's prohibited to enter. i hate it because he hates it.

I have seen him standing in two legs and his other two legs on the parapet wall and watching us play while he is shackled by the chains. His chain keeps the moving maximum of 5 meters inside the kennel. He gets frustrated but who other than us to see.

I know he hates being paraded around the masters friends but he has to do it against his wishes. He  hates to hear the praise of his timidness and his discipline buts wags to appreciate his masters comments.

I may neither be sure the of my food nor do I get the best food. I may not have the best house to stay but I am happy with my friends out on the public road. I can bark all night without being reprimanded by any master. I can walk any where within my territory. I can think to do good deeds or mischief  for I am the master of my own life. I'm happy because I'm free.

The White Mountain

It is an arduous climb with a steep white slop. To climb the mountain we need to enter through the tunnel a rough pathway before we enter the smooth mountain. The mountain itself is a steep incline and we climb it daily for getting to the water source. As a lot of us are dependent on this water, we follow a trail to the water source. The road start from the rough terrains of the tunnel gets smooth and steep incline after wards and then we need to walk through a thin bridge before we get another steep climb before we go down a steep incline before we hit the water. Not sure who made this mountain so smooth and how it shines.

It is skiddy and always gives the fear of ones lifetime climbing it. We rarely look down as it takes breath of our life. We do sometimes look around and find strange and sharp mountains around. We get some food along the way sometimes but mostly we feed and come for a drink of water. The climb takes 2 hrs and takes most of our free time but what to do, without water we cannot survive. The pleasure of drinking some fresh water after a long climb is so enhancing and enchanting that we do not mind the routine.

Few of us have seen blue fire sometimes and few of us have even been burnt down by the fire. Though many of us believe it is some superstition but we also have this fear. We have heard of this blue fire happening just after the sunrise and hence we do this ride in the afternoon. The fear of the fire in the belly makes us to take the ride much later even though we are thirsty after sun rise. Some of us has gone late after sunset then they have not heard of this blue fire but just after sunset also people have heard of the blue fire.

We do not get water always after the steep incline and deep decline. Only a big mountain leads us to the water. The mountain with the water seems to be the tallest by the ride we have to do before we reach the water. We go thirsty few days when we are unable to find the mountain. We have kept some identifiers to the water mountain but somehow on few days we still miss the route to the mountain.

Once in a while we see a small white mountain and whenever we climb it we all die. This mountain emanates a strange smell and as soon as we see this we try to avoid it but many of use die but what to do it is about water and either way we will die. At least it is better to die for water and die trying to drink water than just leaving the search for the fear of death.

It is not that we have any scarcity of way to die, we even die while trying to drink water. We have to balance finely along the edge before we drink the water else you fall into the large pool of water. As the mountain is a steep incline from the water edge it is difficult to climb. tough we all know swim but we tire out and die. So you can die for water and die in water as well. But still without water we will die we take all this risk.

Others have been saying the taste of water is changing water has some salt like accumulations but i am young and i have not seen any change in taste or look. For me this is the only source of water. If we go early in the morning sometimes water is hot by evening it cools down. By the time we go in the afternoon it is neither hot not afternoon.

Life has been monotonous with some daily routine of collecting water and I was feeling to something different. I though of figuring out about the blue fire and why it was hot water in the morning before even sun shines. What happens just after sunrise and just after sunset. But i did not want to die to find it as well but then what is life if i do not use it to find the answers of life's problem and then convey the right knowledge to all my suffering friends. I now need a companion who is also as frustrated like me who can convey what i learn to others. I discussed this with few of my friends and few were willing to challenge the old superstitious notion.

We a group of 6 decided to take the adventure the following day just after sunset. I waited with bated breath for the first ray of sun to come up while i laid down to rest for the night. I was not getting the sleep due to the thrill of thinking about the next day's adventure. I was thinking about all those who might have been through society changing moments and the courage they would have mustered. Sometime at night i drowsed off to be woken by my friend in the early morning.

We covered the tunnel and was looking at the shining mountain we had to climb. Then we heard the sound. We froze in the path and put our ears together to hear the sound. We could hear the word of a large animal saying.. "Oh this ants.. dont know how they climb my gas stove and spoil the water.. Everyday i keep boiled water on the top of the stove and by evening i see lot of ants floating on it.. I need to again put the DDT.."

The Dedicated Boozer

I was not a dedicated boozer long back. Not too back as well. I still remember the days when i was a teetotaler. I now drink, oh no I booze. Sometimes i overdo and create a mess. People around me says i am increasingly getting messier with each passing month. Though my boozer colleagues do not think so. We do discuss and ensure that we do not cross the lekshman rekha we set up as a group. Not sure if the rekha itself is moving.

We talk while we booze and talk a lot on things spanning from nostalgia to current affairs. We discuss national and international issues. We rarely discuss simple day to day things of daily finance and all other banausic tasks. That we do whole day and need not spend this quality time for that. We sometimes discuss on what to discuss but that is after finding that we have divulged a lot from the initial topic. Oh by the way what was the initial topic. We need to focus on topic and we are committed to it. Not that all of us are a talkative lot and we rarely speak while we are not boozed. But even in the high i can make out all of us talk a lot. Yesterday talk of corruption, today hmm.., i have read the news paper and planned to discuss something. I need not start all the discussion so neither am i forced to figure out the topic. There is no target and nothing to gain from this discussion. Ya, i do see my pockets and friends pocket get lighter. But it happened to my teetotaler friend as well who was diagnosed with cancer. They say if we overdo we will get cancer as well. Oh but not having it does not guarantee that we become a Hanuman and live for eternity. May be we should discuss about this once in our talk.

By the way i find more friends now from a large cross section of population. I am finally a social being. We can talk on any topic now. A bottle and few glasses are the unifying factor or a few bottle and a large number of glasses. I see some of them new, ya freshers. They are having beer. I also started that way.  One airline might have filed bankruptcy but he makes some best stuff. and cost effective too. A bird as logo. I never understood why it groping at me. It was cute long back. I stopped using it as i did not like its stare. Now we have the blenders pride while using the officer's choice. I see Teacher's almost daily now after leaving the college though after the sunset. I also have a teacher, a soldier, a politician around this small table.

By the way did i tell you few years back i was not at all drinking. It was good at that time as there was silence all around. I never had so many friends as i have today. But had few and had few discussions on issues of worldly matter with a well defined problem statement and a target to solve it. I was eager to solve the worlds issue but had few friends interested in those discussion. I was becoming a self imposed self confined convict behind the iron bars of my thoughts. I called up the dwindling crowd of teetotalers once in a while and issues of discussion are shifting to more serious stuff. Sometime in past, i thought i did not want to discuss serious stuff and so i am now a dedicated boozer.

By the way I started with a sip and may be increased to few sips. Oh then some thing terrible happened. See we boozers do not talk about sad stuff. it will be an unbearable ennui to hear when you are here to lighten up. Who wants to pay through the nose at one of those multiplexes for a tragic movie. See now no one make such movies.

See we boozers reuse some words or phrases a lot. I need to get out this phrase by the way. I will never reuse it. Oh i think i forgot something. Did i introduce myself? I think not. I am DAS, an abbreviation for Deepika Aslam Sarah, a true daasi who wants to go to heaven as it is only gods who got the soma rasa and the rakshas of hell or Earth are still fending for it.